My Peaceful Birthing Stories

My hypnosis instructor required that I find volunteers to practice with as part of my hypnosis certification training. One of the women who volunteered told me that she had previously used HypnoBirthing.  At the time I had never heard of the concept and was very intrigued as my husband and I were beginning to discuss trying for our first baby.

I found Marie Mongan’s HypnoBirthing book and ordered it immediately.  It was filled with information on what a woman’s body is capable of, how to prepare yourself for a peaceful birth and why birth seems so scary to most in the first place.  If you think about it, the media really doesn’t do a great job of making birth seem like the beautiful and miraculous thing that it is.  Most movies that show a birth scene show women screaming in pain and seemingly out of control in one way or another.  And to be honest, that’s kind of what I expected from child birth… almost as if it were a painful rite of passage that all mothers must endure.

I had never even contemplated the idea of birth being peaceful and specifically recall talking to friends during my college years about having an epidural when I have kids so that I don’t have to deal with the pain when there is an option to avoid it.  And it’s not only the media that portrays birth as terribly painful. I’ve heard many moms talk about their birthing horror stories.  I recall asking my own mom what the most physical pain that she had ever felt was and she responded, “I don’t want to tell you…”.  I knew immediately that she was referring to child birth.

Reading Marie’s book was truly eye opening and made me excited to birth a baby when the time came.  Once pregnant, I realized that I wanted a little more support than just reading the book; my thought being that you can’t truly learn to do something new by simply reading a book about it, you need to put what you read into practice.  I sought out a HypnoBirthing instructor and found one locally.  Ailish was an awesome instructor!  After taking her HypnoBirthing course I felt much more prepared to birth my baby peacefully and unmedicated.  I recently learned that she moved out of the country so unfortunately she no longer practices locally.

Right before I got pregnant I learned that I had plantar fasciitis and as a result I decided to take up yoga to help with the pain.  A few weeks after starting yoga with Angie of YONO Willimantic, I took a positive pregnancy test.  I had heard of prenatal yoga but didn’t really know much about it so I decided to ask Angie if I should be modifying any of the yoga positions due to the pregnancy.  As it happened, she knew a yoga instructor who was also in training to become a doula so she gave me her number.

I texted Beth Prose, the soon-to-be doula and she joined me for yoga at Angie’s studio.  We chatted about modifications I should make while doing yoga in order to keep myself and the baby safe and healthy, but afterward I was blessed with a stroke of luck.  She asked if I would be interested in having her be my doula for my birth, free of charge because at the time she was still in training.  I happily agreed.  She was a fantastic resource during my pregnancy and birth.  One of the most inspiring things for me was the fact that she herself had three unmedicated births and made it very clear that it was not only possible, but totally doable for me to have the beautiful birth I was hoping for!

While I was taking Ailish’s HypnoBirthing class something unexpected happened in my pregnancy journey.  I had been with my OBGYN for my entire pregnancy but had only seen the nurses in the office.  After 32 weeks they have you start to see the actual OBGYNs who may help deliver your baby.  All of the nurses were on board with my plan to birth my baby unmedicated and using HypnoBirthing techniques.  However, at my 32 week visit with the actual OBGYN – the first time I had met her – I realized that she was not on board.  At first she smiled and nodded and seemed to go along with my plan, but then said something along the lines of, “well, many women who have unmedicated births end up tearing and then can’t handle the pain of having to be stitched up.  So immediately after giving birth they have to be put under anesthesia to get stitched”.  This seemed so off to me… how could so many women handle the pain of pushing a baby out of their womb, but not be able to deal with the pain of stitches?

I brought this information back to Beth and Ailish.  Both my doula and my HypnoBirthing instructor were in total disbelief.  Neither of them had heard of such a thing and in fact, Ailish asked me if my doctor was Dr. so-and-so… and of course she was right.  I asked how she knew which OB had said it and her response was that that particular OBGYN had a reputation for using scare tactics to push for interventions during labor.  I was so upset.  In my mind I thought I was doomed to have my baby with a provider that I didn’t feel had my needs and desires in mind.  It hadn’t even occurred to me that I could change providers at 32 weeks.  Ailish told me that I could very well have my unmedicated birth with Dr. so-and-so, but that I would probably be better off changing to a midwife group that was more on board with unmedicated labor and delivery.  I asked her and Beth for recommendations and both of them suggested With Women Wellness out of Manchester.

I was in luck! They were able to start seeing me during my 34th week of pregnancy.  I saw 4 different midwives over the next few weeks until my baby arrived at 38 weeks and 5 days.

The new midwives were awesome and I felt instantly comfortable being in their care.  I could tell that they took my birth plan seriously and were happy to help me along the way.  During one of my visits they gave me a colostrum collection kit.  Colostrum is the nutrient-dense first milk produced during late pregnancy and the first few days after birth. I actually forgot to use it at first (oops!), but once I remembered I hand expressed colostrum that night.  I didn’t get much, as expected, but was able to express a syringe or two of that liquid gold on night one.  The very next morning a redish-clearish piece of my mucus plug had come out.  I had heard of losing some or all of the mucus plug before but didn’t really know what it meant in terms of how soon baby would arrive.  What I learned from ‘Dr. Google’ was that it could mean anything from baby is coming today to baby is coming in a few weeks.  I did get excited that it meant baby was coming soon but tried not to get my hopes too high that it would be ASAP.  That night I expressed a couple more syringes of colostrum.

10:30 PM that night: Lying in bed, I began to notice some cramping in my stomach.  Once again, I tried not to get too hopeful and figured it was just pre-labor contractions or Braxton hicks.  When my husband came up to bed, I didn’t mention it since I was sure it was a false alarm. As the night went on, the sensations got stronger.  I tried to ignore them and sleep, but after a while I realized there was no sleeping through these.  It was likely the real deal.

Midnight: I woke my husband to tell him that I might be in labor and that I was going to take a shower.  I figured the warm water might feel nice.  I added in a request for him to finish packing the hospital bag that I was supposed to have finished packing earlier that day… oops!  For the next couple of hours I moved between the shower and the birthing ball (yoga/exercise ball), trying to remain as relaxed as I could while also keeping an eye on how much time passed between contractions.  I spoke to the midwife on call, Marie Herrick (DNP, CNM), to let her know I would likely be coming in early that morning and I also texted the doula to let her know I was in labor.

5:00 AM: My contractions were lasting about a minute each and were only a few minutes apart at this point.  I also began shaking uncontrollably, so I called the midwife who assured me that shaking was not at all uncommon, but that it may be time to come in soon.  I had originally planned to have the doula come to my house, but things intensified rather quickly so my husband and I headed out and I asked Beth to meet us at the hospital instead.  We grabbed the bag and headed out the door.  I started my birthing playlist and again, tried to relax as best as I could on this early morning car ride.

5:30 AM: I arrived at the hospital and was checked by some of the nurses who informed me that my water had not yet broken.  I allowed the midwife to perform a cervical check, mostly because I really wanted some sort of gauge to understand how far things had progressed.  At the time I was only 5 cm, but she recommended that I stay given the frequency of contractions.  I requested to use the birthing tub and luckily it was available.  While they filled the tub I labored in the room with my husband and doula.  She breathed deeply and audibly with me during my contractions.  This new breath was instrumental in helping me to relax my body during labor.

I labored in the birthing tub for a couple of hours.  For this birth, being on my knees leaning with my arms over the side of the tub was the most comfortable position for me.  All time became blurred and I was surprised to find that my mind was automatically reciting birthing affirmations that I had heard in the hypnosis tracks that I listened to during my pregnancy.  I felt totally separate from everything besides me and my baby.  The only word I remember saying was “water” every so often.  With each contraction, my brain recited something along the lines of “it will only last a minute or so and then I’ll be fine”.  Luckily, that little mantra was enough for me to stay calm and relaxed during labor.

10:00 AM: The midwife performed another cervical check and let me know that I was 10 cm so could start pushing whenever I wanted to.  In retrospect, I should have waited for the urge to push, but instead started pushing since I had no idea what I was doing or what to expect.  While I was pushing in the birthing tub my water finally broke.  The midwife calmly let me know that there was meconium (baby’s first odorless thick black stool) in the water.  She let me know that unfortunately I would not be able to birth in the tub as intended. Meconium could indicate fetal distress, so the hospital required me to birth out of the tub.

10:40 AM: I continued pushing in the L&D room on my side and on my back.  The midwife told me that I was almost there and she expected baby by 11:20.  By 10:55 baby was crowning so I took a pause from pushing since I had heard allowing the baby’s head to gently move back and forth when crowning (rather than pushing harder myself) would help prevent tearing.  The “ring of fire” was uncomfortable, but I also welcomed a break from pushing.

11:00 AM on the dot:  Baby girl was born!  She was immediately placed on my chest and luckily latched easily within 15 minutes.  I was over-the-moon to be holding my sweet baby girl.  Luckily there was no fetal distress and she and I were both able to rest peacefully together with my husband by our side.  I also did not tear, which I attribute to both laboring in the tub and to holding off on pushing for a few minutes when baby was crowning.  It was a beautiful birth and I wouldn’t have it any other way.  I’m so grateful for my husband, doula, hypnobirthing coach and midwives for their support during the birth of my baby girl.

My second birth was very similar to my first in most ways, so here I will highlight some differences.  Again, I went into labor late at night (this time around 11:00 PM).  I did shower and spend time on the birthing ball at home, but this time the contractions became stronger and more frequent sooner than with my first baby.  I began shaking around 2:00 AM and my water broke while I was leaning over the birthing ball shortly thereafter.  It seemed too soon, but something in me knew we had to head to the hospital.  We gathered our hospital bag and put our sleeping daughter in the car and headed to the hospital where my parents scooped her up and I was admitted.

Unfortunately, the birthing tub was occupied, so I requested a room with a regular tub instead of a shower.  They told me one was available and I was welcome to labor in there but would need to get out for the birth itself.  This was fine with me and I was happy to finally get in the tub around 4:30 AM.  This time, laying on my back in the tub was most comfortable for me so I settled in listening to my music and to my surprise, they left me and my husband alone to labor.  I was later told by the midwife, Jessica Jones (CNM), that they thought I had a lot more time since I seemed so calm.

I could feel things begin to transition so I asked my husband to call in the midwife.  She asked if I was ready to get out of the tub to birth the baby.  I told her no, I can’t get out baby is coming right now.  Unlike last time, I didn’t need to wait for someone to tell me to push – my body took over and I had no choice but to push.  Even if I hadn’t wanted to push, I wouldn’t have been able to stop it.  She looked down and said yep, baby is crowning and quickly began to put on her gloves.  She barely got her gloves on in time and scooped him onto my chest at 5:15 AM.  If the midwife had come to the room a few minutes later than she had my husband would have had to deliver our sweet baby boy himself. Once again, it was a beautiful and peaceful experience.